Stories from the Kingdom of Klah

The National Day of Crabbis Kapow

Historic picture of a Crabbis kapow, the native Klahtian crab that spontaneously explodes when excited. This image (courtesy of the Klah archives) is believed to have been taken on July 15th 1909, the day that crabs received the vote. Predictably, after this exciting announcement many were unable to participate, and the day remains both a celebration and a national disaster for the Crabbis Kapow.

Children in Tonkleham waiting for the Merman's Underwater Circus. The circus causes great excitement wherever it travels, and local land children don suits that enable them to breathe underwater - not like the scuba diving suits you may be familiar with, but actual 3 piece dinner suits that not only make them look swizzlingly important, but function like a set of gills. These children are particularly excited because the underwater circus has recently obtained a new star, the highly acclaimed Fire-Breathing Porpoise, who not only breathes fire underwater (which is surely hard enough), but is said to simultaneously darn socks for members of the crowd - an extraordinary feat when you consider she has flippers for hands. Citizens, if you are in Tonkleham next weekend - particularly if you have socks* that resemble colanders - be sure to check out the famous underwater circus.

*socks should ideally not be of flammable material

The Great Nose of Okia Bay, South Klah. Officials are officially unsure why this sandy cliff grew a hefty nose, but they have established it is allergic to boring outfits, so citizens, Kingdom of Klah threads only if you visit Okia Bay - unless you want to find yourself with sand in more bodily crevasses than you knew you had.

The Lunis concealis

Branches of Lunis concealis, the unusual tree only seen in the light of the full moon. The sap of L. concealis has superb medicinal qualities when applied to superficial wounds, however, due to its invisibility most of the time, it is also responsible for 98% of the injuries it helps to heal. This had lead to groups such as the OPS (Over Protective Society) and the CWB (Cotton Wool Brigade) calling for its eradication, which has in turn enraged environmentalists. But as neither can successfully find the trees to chop down / strap themselves to, so far the feud has only resulted in shouting matches and the odd egg throw in public.

The National Day of Crabbis Kapow

The Merman's Underwater Circus

The Great Nose of Okia Bay

The Lunis concealis